It’s a sad reality that whilst many of us believe our chat up lines and flirtatious advances to be suave, smooth and sophisticated, in the event that they are tried and tested they fall rather flat. If you have ever used any of the techniques outlined in this article, the chances are that the object of your affections will think only that you probably need to get yourself an STD test, rather than getting yourself a date.
Slogan t-shirts, hats and other various paraphernalia might make you and your mates laugh when they’re on the hanger, but they’re probably not as funny in the cold light of day, and certainly not in the eyes of those that you’re trying to woo. So next time you’re getting ready to go out for the evening and you think about putting on your stud muffin t-shirt (the slogan of which reads “I put the STD in Stud, all I need now is U”) perhaps you should think again. Rather than getting a date, you’re likely to be left with a red hand print across your face, and the questionable outcome of any STD test you might take hanging in the air.
They say that the eyes are one of the most powerful flirting tools available to you. However, what they don’t tell you is how easily an attempt to catch someone’s eyes can be misconstrued. Whilst you may think that you’re gazing seductively at the fitty across the bar, it might well look to them as if they have attracted a stalker of some description. When it comes to making eye contact, be sure to make some other form of contact first. It is better to go up and talk to somebody before you try to lure them with your eyes. Once they’re engaged in conversation, then you can work on batting your eyelashes. Just be sure to choose your opening line carefully, as some areas of conversation are out of bounds on a first meeting – talking about the STD test results you got earlier that day for example, is no way to win yourself a date.
Bringing up the topic of safe sex can be difficult, particularly when you’re very attracted to someone. You may think that getting an STD test would be a good way to win their hearts, and you’re right – it might well afford you some brownie points. However, what you definitely should not do, is broadcast your test results on the Internet. A Facebook status that reads “woop woop I’m clean – no STD for me!” might very well be your way of sharing the good news, but it’s a sure-fire way not to get someone into bed. Keep these things to yourself until asked, and whatever you do, don’t try to turn your STD test results into a chat up line.
So next time you see someone that you particularly like the look of across the room, stop and think twice before you open your mouth, stare seductively, or point to the slogan on your t-shirt. These are certainly ways that you won’t get someone into bed, and with these flirting techniques it’s doubtful you’ll need an STD test.